Happy New Year!
Thank you for joining me on this blog, which I started late last year. This year, I hope to continue sharing insights and practical tips related to mental health and self-care. Let’s walk together on this journey of exploring the heart, mind, and body! Wishing you all a wonderful year ahead.
How did you spend your holiday season? While it may have been a joyful time, did you experience moments of stress or confusion in your interactions with family or friends? Even small exchanges can sometimes leave a lasting impression on our hearts.
As we step into the new year, how about being just a bit kinder to yourself? By tuning into your emotions, you might find relief or even a sense of positive change.
Today, I’d like to share a personal story to explore the impact of criticism and compassion on our hearts.
A Moment of Criticism, A Moment of Connection
During the holidays, I was working on a task with someone close to me when they suddenly said:
“That’s wrong! You’re so bad at this.”
I froze for a moment, startled by the unexpected criticism. I hadn’t even thought of it as a mistake, so hearing those words took me by surprise. Almost immediately, I felt embarrassed, and that embarrassment quickly turned into anger. I wanted to shout inside,
“You didn’t have to say it that way!”
As I reflected on this moment, I realized the sensation in my body was something deeply familiar. It reminded me of the emotional wounds I’ve carried since childhood. So, I gently acknowledged my hurt feelings, saying to myself,
“I see you. It’s okay.”
A little later, the person quietly said, “Actually, I’ve made the same mistake,” with a slightly embarrassed tone.
In that moment, I felt a wave of relief, like a knot inside me had loosened. I realized they were being vulnerable. And I felt a tinge of sadness, thinking,
“I wish I had heard this honest self-disclosure first.”
Three Lessons I Learned
Through this experience, I gained three important insights:
1. Anger often hides more delicate emotions.
While anger may appear on the surface, it sometimes masks subtler feelings like shame or hurt. (Of course, anger can also be a primary emotion in certain situations.)
2. Noticing your emotions can ease the heaviness.
Simply recognizing and accepting your feelings can bring relief, helping you pause before expressing anger at someone else.
3. How words are expressed profoundly affects the heart.
Critical words create tension, while compassionate ones offer comfort. The vulnerability in their admission of “I’ve made the same mistake” profoundly softened my heart.
Reflect and Experiment
How does your heart react when you hear critical words? Whether you feel anger, shame, or hurt, take a moment to listen to your emotions.
And when you communicate with others, which tone do you choose? Next time you feel criticized, try noticing your emotions and responding with gentleness—both toward yourself and others. Experiment with choosing compassionate words and notice how your heart and body respond.
Would you like to join me in being a little kinder to ourselves and others this year?
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