Everyone Looks So Happy... Except Me. Why We Feel Lonely During the Holidays (And Why It’s Okay)

The holiday season is here. The streets are bright with lights. Instagram is full of photos of big parties and happy families. Everyone seems to be saying, "This is the best time of the year!"

But what if you don't feel that way? What if, when you look at those photos, you feel a cold wind blowing through your heart?

"Why can't I be happy like them?" "Is there something wrong with me?"

If you feel this way, please listen: You are not alone. Let's talk about the loneliness that many of us feel, especially those of us living between cultures.

The Pressure to Have a "Picture-Perfect" Holiday

Living in the U.S., the pressure to have a perfect holiday—like the ones we see in movies—is huge. We are told we should be loud, joyful, and surrounded by a big family.

But for those of us with immigrant backgrounds (or living away from home), reality is often different.

• Maybe you go to family gatherings, but you feel like you don't fully fit in. You love them, but you feel misunderstood because of language or cultural differences.

• Maybe you see your American friends' traditions and feel like your life is not "enough."

• Maybe you are tired of pretending to be someone else just to fit in.

  
  

This gap between "Who I really am" and "Who I am supposed to be" creates a quiet, heavy loneliness. And then comes the shame: "I should be grateful. I shouldn't feel this way."

You Are Not Broken

I want you to know this: Feeling lonely or disconnected does not mean you are broken. It doesn't mean you are failing at life.

It just means you are tired of wearing a mask. It means you are looking for a place where you can just be yourself, without trying so hard.

It’s Okay to Rest

Nature goes quiet in winter. Look outside—we have lots of snow right now. The world is covered in white and is taking a deep breath. Trees lose their leaves and rest. We are part of nature, too. We don't have to bloom and shine all year round.

This holiday, give yourself permission to:

• Do less. You don't have to go to every party.

• Stop comparing. Social media is just a highlight reel, not real life.

• Be gentle with yourself.

  
  

If you feel lonely, try not to push it away. Just say to yourself, "It's okay. I'm feeling lonely right now. It's tough, but I'm okay." Imagine wrapping a warm blanket around that feeling.

My Door is Open

You don't have to carry everything alone. If the holidays feel too heavy, or if you just want a place where you don't have to act "perfect," I am here.

In the New Year, my door is open for you. Wishing you a warm, gentle holiday season—exactly as you are.